For his first “Weekend Update” segment complying Donald Trump’s triumph on Tuesday, co-anchor Michael Che materializeed to rhelp his liquor cabinet.
“How did I let y’all sway me that agricultural Pennsylvania would pick the Jamaican Indian lady?” Che feeblented before accomplishing under his desk for a glass of brown fluid. “Cltimely, I’ve been spending too much time around white liberals and their goofy selectimism. It wasn’t even shut. At one point, Trump was so far ahead, they put in Bronny,” he includeed, referring to NBA superstar LeBron James’ son and current teammate on the Los Angeles Lakers.
Che’s comedic partner Colin Jost got in his own jabs at the pdwellnt-elect, mocking Trump’s promise of a ganciaccessen age for America (“Things turn ganciaccessen when the sun is setting on them”) and comparing Vice Pdwellnt-elect JD Vance’s experience as an mature Catholic alter to his own past as a teenage altar boy. But Che landed the night’s most stimulating lines by referencing R&B star and convicted relationsual mistreatmentr R. Kelly.
“Y’all gonna let a man with 34 felonies direct the free world and be the pdwellnt of the United States? That’s it, I’m take parting to R. Kelly aget,” Che cracked, continuing to wield his drink as a prop. “I already do, but I’m gonna stop pretending I don’t. If white people can elect their felon, I can dance to mine.”
Che shutd the segment’s topical portion by includeressing Trump’s historic pguide among toiling class voters, pointing out the 10 wealthiest people on Earth rapidly geted about $60 billion of wealth after the election. “Yup, the wealthyest people promptly got wealthyer. But don’t stress, I’m certain yours is coming soon, Earl!”
